NOV 3 Port-A-Potties

Today, I am thankful for Port-A-Potties.

The only thing worse than sitting on a toilet and realizing you're out of toilet paper, is NEEDING a toilet and none are around. We've all been in that desperate situation when Port-A-Potties become our best friend.

Port-A-Potties, NOT a place for pick-up lines.

Sure, it starts with the typical snooty response of, "Eeew, those are dirty and smelly! I'll wait for a real bathroom." But after many beers and an oversupply of malted grain and hops, your body is brewing its own special cocktail and it is getting ready to deliver it NOW! Suddenly, you realize that the Port-A-Potty you were spurning earlier is now you're only savior from this ticking time-bomb inside of you.

But now, you're only wishing it wasn't so far away. Every step you take ticks off a second from the time clock. The faster you go, the faster the countdown to EXPLOSION time. Everything is moving in slow motion for you at this moment. This is when negotiations with God begin. "Please God, I'll do such and such if you get me in that Port-A-Potty in time, PLEASE! Why did I wear white pants?!"

Couples can share this one.

Looks like a normal port-a-potty on the outside...

...But it's so spacious on the inside, it's luxurious.

Once the Port-A-Potty has saved you from societal embarrassment and are now obligated to fulfill some promise to God that you are starting to have second thoughts about, remember this, Port-A-Potties deserve respect. They take shit from you all the time, and they don't complain about it. Next time you see one, high-five it. Or shake its door handle. First, just make sure that nobody is in there thanking God that their white pants are still white.

BLAHG you later!