Who doesn't love paper plates? Maybe the people of PAPPA-OPS Organization, an organization that is against the use of paper plates and other paper products. The acronym stands for People Against Paper Plates And Other Paper Stuff.
Regardless of what the PAPPA-OPS campaign is, I am all for the use of paper plates. Let me tell you why.
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| Dixie paper plates, or how I like to call them D-Plates. I'm sorry, I don't have any D-Cups to show you. |
1. They make a cool pattern from the print on the edge of the plate when they are stacked high, almost psychedelic.
2. There is no emotional attachment to paper plates like there is for fine china, even not-so-fine china. If a china plate breaks, people cry,"It belonged to my great, great-grandmother. Boo hoo!" If a paper plate breaks, WAIT! It won't break because it's made out of paper. Even if it is torn, you have a stack full to choose from.
3. They keep the kitchen clean, at least the sink. You won't have as many dirty dishes in the sink or the washer. Now if you have them in the washer, you are one cheap, not-so-bright individual (or the nicer way to say it, DUMBASS!).
4. You can go as cheap as you want, or as fancy as you want with your paper plates. I prefer a middle ground. Too cheap, and it looks like I am dirt poor. Too fancy, and people will want me to move my double-wide trailer home to Beverly Hills. Middle ground says enough money to have food, too poor to afford real plates. I'm fine with that.
5. You can use them to move big furniture around the house. Slide them under the sofa feet and push away, it's that easy. (WARNING: it only works if you have carpet and are sober.)
6. You can play Drunk Frisbee with them when you're...drunk. However, do not move furniture.
Paper plates have so many good uses. It's a shame the PAPPA-OPS Organization is campaigning to eliminate them from the world.
BLAHG you later!
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